Your Law Is My Delight

When you need to remember — that You're still my Shepherd.

You can come to the end of a long meditation, a long road, a long stretch of trying to walk faithfully — and find yourself saying the most honest thing you have said in months: "I have gone astray like a lost sheep; seek Your servant, for I do not forget Your commandments." You have not forgotten the commandments. You have just wandered. You do not need a fresh start. You need the One who has been your Shepherd all along to come find you again. He has done it before; that is what He does.

This is the closing section of the longest passage in Scripture, and it lands with the humility of someone who has been writing for 175 verses and still admits he has wandered. "Let my cry come near before You, O Lord; give me understanding according to Your word. Let my supplication come before You; deliver me according to Your word." Then the resolved mouth: "My lips shall utter praise when You have taught me Your statutes. My tongue shall speak of Your word, for all Your commandments are righteousness." Praise will follow teaching. Speech will follow understanding. He is committing his mouth to what God will give him. Then the help request: "Let Your hand help me, for I have chosen Your precepts. I have longed for Your salvation, O Lord, and Your law is my delight." He has chosen, longed, delighted — and still needs help. Choosing is not the same as arriving. The closing line catches every reader who has tried to live faithfully and still drifted: "Let my soul live, and it shall praise You; let Your judgments help me. I have gone astray like a lost sheep; seek Your servant, for I do not forget Your commandments." 175 verses about love for the law. And the writer ends by admitting he has wandered like a lost sheep. That is the most honest possible ending. Even after meditation and obedience and devotion, he is still a sheep that needs to be sought. He still needs the Shepherd to come find him.

• Right now, pray the closing prayer of the whole long meditation: "I have gone astray like a lost sheep; seek Your servant, for I do not forget Your commandments." • Write this down: "Where have I wandered while still loving His commandments — and have I asked Him to come find me?" • Repeat this line when you realize you have drifted again: "Seek Your servant, for I do not forget Your commandments."

Stop. Breathe. Let the picture of the longest meditation in Scripture ending with "seek Your servant" settle into the part of you that has been pretending to be steadier than you are, then tell Him exactly where you have wandered — out loud if you can.

God, let my cry come near before You — and let it be honest about where I have actually been. Let my lips utter praise when You have taught me Your statutes, instead of before. Let Your hand help me, because I have chosen Your precepts and still drifted. I have gone astray like a lost sheep; seek Your servant, because I do not forget Your commandments. You have always been the Shepherd who comes after the one — come after me again. You're still my Shepherd.

Even after the longest meditation, the truest prayer is still "seek Your servant" — He has always come.